How to stand up for yourself and stop the habit of people pleasing?
It’s important to stand up for yourself and know when to say no.
Here are a few signs that you may be allowing others to take advantage of you.
Ask yourself if you find yourself thinking too much about what other people think if you agree with them even when you think to yourself that they’re wrong, or if you’re apologizing for some things which are not even your fault.
If the answer is yes to some of these things, then you might just be a people please. Even if you’re not trying to please everybody all the time but do it occasionally, or to certain people, then it still counts. Be it your friends, partner, or parents, which you just can’t bear to see upset or angry.
But people-pleasing can often be counterproductive to yourself, as it stops you from and trusting in yourself as much as you otherwise would’ve.
There’s also a chance that someone might take advantage of you due to your good nature, as they may see you as weak, not as a good person. So it’s important not to let others take advantage of you.
Although pleasing other people may make you feel like a better human, what about being yourself?
If some of your closest friends often remark that you’re too kind to other people, then there’s a high chance that you’re trying to please some people. Stop concentrating on the wishes, demands, and desires of other people and start to focus on yourself.
Do any of these things ring a bell:
You often feel obligated to agree with other people — if you’re a people please, you will find yourself going out of your way not to upset someone. But the truth of the manner is that not everyone is going to agree with your opinion and that’s perfectly fine. If you don’t agree, then simply say so. It is a free world, after all.
Another important cause for people-pleasing is the fear of being left out; you please others so that they will be more likely to like you. But if they don’t like you for who you are, then you shouldn’t even hang out with them. The most important thing for you is to be you.
Don’t seek the validation of other people. We often want to hear that we’re helpful, nice, and sensitive, but if you really are any of those things, then you don’t need someone to tell that you from the outside. You are the only one who should actually know whether you are a good person on the inside.
You are not responsible for other people’s happiness. Even if you care about someone, let them live their own life and realize that you can’t live up to everyone’s expectations. As the harder you try, the more you raise the bar for what they’ll be expecting from you.
So if you feel that some of this applies to you, then take a look at how to stop being a people pleaser.
